What is Happy?

                                                       

           

    A dear friend of mine recently said that they haven't been happy for a long time. I myself have questioned my happy status off and on. Then several other people in my circle have also mentioned their lack of happy. This of course got me thinking, so here goes my thinking feel free to let me know if you think I'm off course or have anything to add.

    The first question is what is happy? Is it a constant state of being? Is it a fleeting moment? Do you have to be smiling or laughing? Personally, I think Happy is a moment or a restricted length of time. What follows happy should be a sense of ease or contentment. Contentment is the state of emotion that I believe we should try to achieve. 

    First you need to ask yourself what is it that you think makes you happy? Is it the company you keep? Your job, your hobbies and pursuits, family, pets, achievements? Reaching a goal that you have strived for should give you a sense of pride and happiness. Remember I said I believe that happy is a limited moment of time. Let's look at that concept. These are the moments (undetermined time frame) that I came up with that people feel happy or elated I'm sure there are plenty more, but these are the obvious. The birth of a child, a pleasant surprise, a wedding, being around good company, anticipation of a trip or event, achieving a goal or watching someone you care about achieving a goal, getting a job you have needed and hoped for, buying something new like a car or house etc... you get the idea. All of these things bring people a sense of happy. It's a physiological response. Your endorphins and adrenalin in your system are high. You feed off others energy and you feel pride and love. Happiness can be internal or external and what makes one happy is not necessarily what makes another happy. Happiness isn't a state of permanent being. It can be a fleeting moment or last a few hours or if you're lucky a few days. Did you know that just smiling can raise your endorphin levels. Yes, all you need to do to increase your happy/ contentment level is smile. Think of something that made you smile or laugh in the past, then put that smile on your face and feel your spirit's lift. Walk into the grocery store with a smile on your face and see how many you get back, make it a game. Smiles are contagious, catch one and give one.  I think part of what made covid even more depressing than it was, was the fact that we couldn't see peoples smiles.

    When you ask someone what makes them happy, some people have a ready set list others have no idea. The ones that have a ready set list may know or may think that those things make them happy, or they may think that they fall into the happy category but really fall into a different category like strong emotions or ease of life's challenges. Example, money, does it really make you happy or does it just make getting by in life easier? Winning a lottery may make you happy but the challenges after can bring on bigger problems if the windfall is not handled well. Another common response is sex. The problem with this answer is that sex actually falls under the category of strong emotion not happiness. Again, those endorphins are playing a huge roll in this. Let's list some of the emotions and some of the feelings associated with sex. Blissful, euphoric, anticipatory, desire, relaxing, comfort, powerful, heartwarming, safe I know I left out a bunch go ahead add some more but you get the idea. All of this makes you feel good, but it is not happiness, it would fall more under the category of pleasure. 

                                                                         

    Now to look at what happiness means and why contentment is more of a constant that we need to achieve. We should all have moments of happiness in our lives. Remember these are fleeting. You can raise your inner contentment/ happiness level by taking mental snapshots of these happy moments and whipping them out to the front of your brain when you are feeling down. You can also feel better by raising your endorphin levels, there are simple ways of doing this.

Exercise

Laughter (even if you are by yourself think of something that makes you laugh or watch a funny show)

Sex: it is not defined as happiness but can produce those endorphins that will make you feel better for a while.

Dark chocolate

Eat spicy food

Create or listen to music

Create or look at art

Dance: put on some music and dance and sing around your house when you are doing other things or just take time to dance. This is a powerful positive endorphin building tool.

        If you feel like you are never happy you need to look at why. It could be you, get a mental health assessment and make sure that you are not suffering from some level of clinical depression. Try one or more of those endorphin building tips. Look at your surroundings it might be as simple as a clean house, ask for help or hire someone if the chore seems overwhelming. Are you in a toxic relationship, if so, can you get out of it safely, there are programs and services out there to help with this. I know from personal experience how hard and frightening getting out of a toxic relationship can be. People always say why doesn't he or she just leave? Sometimes it's just not that simple, try to find someone you can trust, stay safe and do everything you need to do to escape. I feel like I just went down a rabbit hole, but I think it is and important rabbit hole. Whatever you feel is making you down try to take steps to change it. Don't make it a one-man job, ask for help if it seems to be too much for you. 

    The goal we are seeking is contentment for most of our day. This is also not a constant. Things happen. Someone says something upsetting something happens that is upsetting, traffic on our way to or from work is awful, something sad occurs, you get frustrated. Anger however is a choice. OH, I hear you out there going is she crazy!!! No, it really is a choice before you lose your temper ask yourself several questions. Will being angry change the situation? Is there any way that my actions can change the situation? Is this really a battle or just something a bit annoying or frustrating? Remember being angry hurts you way more than anyone else. It raises your blood pressure, your heart rate, can cause strokes and is actually harmful to your organs. If your anger is justified give yourself a time limit of no more that 10 minutes to fume, mumble, or dwell on the subject. We are not our best selves when we are angry, and you are losing out on all that possible happiness time you are so looking for. Seek contentment. Most of your problems are under control, you have a few moments every day for yourself. Do something that makes you calm or happy. Meditate for at least 10 minutes a day. Talk to the people in your life, take a walk, read a book, cook a meal, paint a picture, you get it do something fun that you enjoy. Making time for yourself and your loved ones will bring a sense of contentment to you as well as that possible Happy moment we all seek. 

    Wrapping it up. Happiness is not a constant state of existence, it is a fleeting moment to be savored, saved, and enjoyed. Feel free to whip out your happiness snapshot card in your brain anytime you need a fix. Happiness is a physiological state, one that you can manipulate, one that you actually have more power over than you realize. Use your power. Happiness does not fall from trees and land in your lap. You need to participate in life in order to experience it. We also need to recognize it when we see it. There are many small happy moments in all of our lives. Watching my dogs play with each other makes me smile and laugh, sometimes I see a small child in public that does something funny or sweet that makes me smile. Watching a very tiny bird dive bomb a very tiny squirrel the other day made me laugh. These are happy moments, notice them savor them, keep them tucked away. You are responsible for your own happiness no one else. You choose how many tiny moments around you that you notice and let them put a smile on your face. Seek contentment by

storing up as many happy snapshots you can. 

                                                                               

Remember this song? Well, he has the right idea. Who can listen to this song and not smile? 

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Bobby McFerrin

Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry be happy
Don't worry be happy now

Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo-ooh hoo-hoo-ooh-ooh ooh
Don't worry
Woo ooh-woo-ooh-woo-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy
Ooh-ooh hoo-hoo-ooh hoo-hoo-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Woo ooh-woo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo-ooh-woo-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy

Ain't got no place to lay your head somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry be happy
The landlord say your rent is late he may have to litigate
Don't worry
Ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha
Be happy
Look at me I'm happy

Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh...
Be happy
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Here I'll give you my phone number
When you're worried call me I'll make you happy

Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Ain't got no cash ain't got no style
Ain't got no gal to make you smile
But don't worry be happy
'Cause when you're worried your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don't worry be happy
Don't worry be happy now

Ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy

Now there is this song I wrote
I hope you learned it note for note like good little children
Don't worry be happy
Listen to a what I say in your life expect some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry be happy be happy now

Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy

Ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry (Don't worry, don't do it)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
(Put a smile on your face, don't bring everybody down like this)

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh
It will soon pass, whatever it is
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
I'm not worried

Songwriters: Robert Mcferrin Jr.. For non-commercial use only.

Data From: Musixmatch

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Genius

The return of the wandering gypsy

     Staring straight ahead of me upon my return was yet more unplanned vacation space.  So, on a whim I called a cousin in Oregon and booked a flight for a quick visit near the end of my 19-day vacation. I settled into the idea of getting some things done around the house. My phone rings. My youngest calls and asks if I want to go to Plainville Ct. for the balloon festival. Up on Friday, back on Saturday. Friday they were having fireworks and lighting up some of the balloons. Sure, why not I love those giant hot air balloons. Friday, we pack into her car with the kids and head off. The only thing we didn't anticipate was that there was a steady light rain up there. That didn't stop us although it did stop the balloons from firing up that night. I purchased umbrellas and a very nice wool blanket to sit on. They had all sorts of venders and many food trucks. The kids were bouncing around and had big eyes for everything. The band that played that evening was very good I wish I had gotten the name. The fireworks went off on schedule, although the rain kept much of the smoke closer to the ground, obscuring some of them. They were wonderful non the less. We tucked 2 tired little ones into bed at the hotel that night. The next morning the newscaster said there was a weather delay on the morning launch, so we took our time with breakfast. Heading back to the field to discover they actually did launch. Figuring we came to see balloons we settled in to wait for the night launch. We rode the train around the park. The kids got their first pony rides. There was a fun playground that the kids couldn't get enough of. We perused all the wares at the many booths. There was also a car show with some great restored vehicles. 

Running out of ways to keep kids busy until six pm. We decided to find a restaurant. We ended up at J Timothy's Tavern in Plainville. Fabulous!! We were seated quickly. The service was prompt and friendly. The food was excellent. I have to say it was the best New England clam chowder I have had in years. I had the bourbon steak, and it was amazing, tender flavorful and just right. I would drive back up here just to eat.

    We headed back to the festival after sating ourselves. Not sure where the balloons were going to inflate, I chose a space mid-field so that I could see in all directions. As six o'clock approached I noticed one balloon at the far end of the field laid out and beginning to inflate. My trusty cameras and I got prepared. just as that one was almost completely filled rising like a mist another one very close to me started to inflate. They were just popping up from among the crowd of on lookers. It reminded me of the line from Mulan where they mention the Huns popping up like daisies. Awesome doesn't begin to describe the feeling of these amazing balloons rising like a Pheonix then floating away directly over our heads.

I love watching these amazing balloons inflate and lift off into the air. Maybe one day I will get to ride in one. We had a spectacular time rain and all as we headed home tired and full of wonder. 

    Recommended event. they had a sabbatical during covid but seem to be back to having this as an annual event.
.This has been in my draft space for almost a year, but it is worth the post.

Life, Love, Tragedy, Sadness

 I know I promised to finish my wandering Gypsy series, but I got a bit busy.  So, this Blog is going to be out of place. You know that writing things down is a kind a therapeutic thing for me, yesterday something terrible happened and I'm going to try to start to process it in the way that I know best.

While out doing my job. I witnessed, what I thought was an abduction of an adult woman. While I was grabbing my phone to take a picture of the man, woman, and car, as well as dialing 911 everything went even more wrong. The man grabbed a large knife and murdered the woman and then himself. No one and I mean No One, should ever have to see this. Not to mention it just shouldn't happen. It was terrifying as well as surreal. 

Strangely, although I was right there and didn't miss anything with my eyes. It was almost as if someone had lowered the volume on life to 2 bars. I really didn't hear much as if my ears were being covered. After a comment made by a friend of mine that she was glad she wasn't there because she wouldn't be able to get the screaming out of her head, I realize that this odd phenomenon was a blessing. Maybe my Angel covered my ears. I have very detailed visual recall. This is usually a good thing, but it is going to make getting the pictures out of my head very difficult. 

The poor girl's mom was there and witnessed the whole thing as well. My heart is breaking for her. I can't even imagine what I would have done if it had been me and one of mine. I don't want to imagine that. No parent should have to ever go through something like that. I'm waiting for this to become real in my head. I know that it will hit me hard from out of nowhere when I least expect it. I've been down that road before. 

It was such a wasted loss of life. So much ahead of both of them. My understanding is that they left a 2 yr. old behind. I hope he wasn't a witness to any of this. I didn't see him, but I wasn't looking for anyone. 

The violence among humans these days is horrendous. I don't know how to change it. The only thing I know that I have total control over is me. How I behave towards others. How I manage myself. No one is perfect. There are no directions in life. We don't come with a manual that has all the answers and all the right words. We don't know how we are going to react in any situation. We can only hope that we have our hearts in the right place and try to do no harm. Hindsight in life is 20-20. Sadly, the man and the woman involved in yesterday's horror have no such luxury, to look back and change their lives going forward. We never know when our time is up. Thankfully this man did not have a gun or more lives may have been lost, including mine. That thought is a large, scary, sour, pill to swallow. He clearly had a plan. I don't believe he intended for either of them to live when he set out yesterday. Sadly, he accomplished his goal. He clearly came prepared with a very deadly weapon and it was in easy grasp in his car. It was an illegal knife to tote around, and I believe there is only one reason for doing so and that is to cause great harm. 

The officer who happened to be nearby arrived on the scene too late to save anyone. He was young and riding solo. He followed the book on how to handle the situation. He was amazing when trying to help the young woman. He never lost focus. I hope that he is acknowledged for his fast response and proper actions as well as his compassion. 

Be kind to each other. Try and talk things out. Don't let stuff fester. Life is short and you never know how short. Love your family and friends and let them know it. work through your problems don't just turn your back on them and hope they go away or change. Share your worries and your happiness with those you love. We all need the support of others. Life is a gift from God. Treasure, it hold it carefully and don't let it shatter you only get one. 

The wandering Gypsy

     Do you ever wake up and wonder what life holds in store for you? Have no plans for the day. I know when you are very young this happens often. Then you hit that middle of the road part of your life where every moment of every day seems to be filled to the brim with things to do, so many there is barely enough time. Between juggling your job, kids, and social life is there even a minute for you? Then you get a bit older, and you only have you to make plans and time for. Yes, I still work 40 plus hours a week. I also have adult children and grandchildren as well as pets and some days and weeks are just as crazy as they were 20 yrs. ago. However, there is much more wiggle room in my life. This is why I sometimes plan for vacation time, (which I choose in around February) and then try to figure out what I'm going to do with it. Sometimes I do figure it out and sometimes God does. I like to think that we work together on this. Well, this was one of those years where I went with the flow, listened to the whispers in my ears and let nature take its course.

As summer is coming to a close, I find myself contemplating how what I thought would be a slow summer ended up being quite a busy one. I started this summer with no plans. and suddenly found myself with an abundance of them. 

Starting in July when I was invited to Atlantic city with my youngest daughter and her family, for the weekend of my birthday. We had a fabulous hotel room at Oceans resort overlooking the boardwalk. A much sought after view by our youngest attendee, my 3 yr. old grandson. He spent as much time as possible standing in the window and watching the activity on the boardwalk. His favorite sight were the trams, that ran up and down the boardwalk. We rode the large Ferris wheel one evening. In the afternoon we went to the beach to play in the sand and the waves. We spent some quality adult time spinning wheels at the casino. We played at the arcade, had a wonderful birthday dinner out, for me and Michaels Uncle Frank. A fun time was had by all. Thank you, Michael and Colleen, for a birthday that won't soon be forgotten. 

    Backing up just a bit I had a bit of girl time on the way down to AC. I met up with my girlfriend Charlene from college along with two of her friends from grade school. We met at a winery where we enjoyed a wonderful lunch a flight of wine and great company. 

Then it was back to work for me. I had planned vacation time in Aug. with no idea of what I was doing with it. Several days before my scheduled time off I got a call from a girlfriend who told me that her brother had invited us up to their family home on what I call the wrong side of Lake George. I have been up there before it is a little hamlet over the mountain and on the lake, called Hewletts Landing.  A beautiful spot to relax and enjoy. So off we trotted for a few days in upstate NY. I also invited another friend of mine to join us. Becky hadn't been in that area for many years. Claire and I headed off on our adventure. While driving I realized that Saratoga was open for the season. You guessed it, side trip to the race track it was.

    From there we headed off to the landing and an evening with some of Claires siblings. A beautiful evening with a walk around the neighborhood. We even grabbed an ice cream from the local stand. The following morning, we headed into Lake George proper. You know the populated side of the lake. We met up with Becky in town and wandered our way up the main drag. We were proper tourists, bopping in and out of all the shops, picking up a few trinkets and wares. We were sure to visit the Adirondack winery. They have some wonderful and unique wines. We had a sunset cruise scheduled for later in the evening on the ship, " the Adirondack". We were trying to figure out what was for dinner, When Becky mentioned that she brought a sort of charcutier board with her in the car. We put our supplies together. (you know I never leave home without being prepared) and headed back to the edge of the lake where we had a fabulous and unique picnic. Followed by a sunset cruise up the lake, then back to the house for some more bonding time. A fabulous time was had by all with a must do this again to be planned. 

    Sadly, Becky had to head back home the following day as she had more plans of her own. However, Claire and I did a bit of exploring and found some fun sights of our own. The next day we hopped in the car and headed North to places yet unknown. We found ourselves taking a small ferry just beyond Fort Ticonderoga over to Vt. Where we drove North again just enjoying the scenery. Stopping now and again to snap a picture or two. One of our stops where we walked back to take a picture of the bridge we were going to cross to go back to NY. we spotted and Osprey. She flew overhead and landed in a nest that she had on top of an electric pole. I will say they are mighty big nests. I couldn't pass up this photo op. It wasn't until I got home and really looked at the pictures that I realized I had at least 2 different birds. One was a baby and the other a parent. What a cool stop. 

 

 

    Back over the bridge crossing over Lake Champlain and once more in NY. Claire and I, both history fans, stumbled upon, Crown Point, The site of two forts. The first was a French fort which is not much more than a mound now. The second is that of a British fort Built after the British took the ground from the French. Not much remains of that fort either but enough to see what it was like. Your imagination can run wild. You can almost hear the horses and wagons moving in the courtyard. The creaking of harnesses the clatter and rumble of wheels on the stone. The shouts from commanders to troops, the banging of metal cauldrons cooking meals and washing laundry. The mass of soldiers and fort hands going about their daily chores. Standing on the shore of Lake Champlain I could feel the power of the lake. I could almost see ships from long ago crossing this powerful lake. We only wished that the museum had been open.

Then back to the base for a good night's rest before heading off towards home the next day. 
     You may have noticed by now that I'm not your conventional traveler, that maps out a route and sticks to the plan, so it shouldn't surprise you that we headed home via VT.  A winding route of adventure. Taking a bit of a side road because it mentioned a covered bridge. (you know we couldn't resist that) we found this pretty and comical bridge. The sign over the Bridge, dated 1874 Reads " Rexleigh Bridge, 25 dollars fine for driving on this bridge faster than a walk" (and yes there is an S on dollars). 

After a few more casual stops we arrived at home. I'm sure we will venture out again. My trail is nowhere near its end, I hope. I'll save my next adventure for my next post. I hope you enjoyed your vicarious trip to upstate NY. and VT. with me. As well as a peek at Atlantic city.