What is Happy?

                                                       

           

    A dear friend of mine recently said that they haven't been happy for a long time. I myself have questioned my happy status off and on. Then several other people in my circle have also mentioned their lack of happy. This of course got me thinking, so here goes my thinking feel free to let me know if you think I'm off course or have anything to add.

    The first question is what is happy? Is it a constant state of being? Is it a fleeting moment? Do you have to be smiling or laughing? Personally, I think Happy is a moment or a restricted length of time. What follows happy should be a sense of ease or contentment. Contentment is the state of emotion that I believe we should try to achieve. 

    First you need to ask yourself what is it that you think makes you happy? Is it the company you keep? Your job, your hobbies and pursuits, family, pets, achievements? Reaching a goal that you have strived for should give you a sense of pride and happiness. Remember I said I believe that happy is a limited moment of time. Let's look at that concept. These are the moments (undetermined time frame) that I came up with that people feel happy or elated I'm sure there are plenty more, but these are the obvious. The birth of a child, a pleasant surprise, a wedding, being around good company, anticipation of a trip or event, achieving a goal or watching someone you care about achieving a goal, getting a job you have needed and hoped for, buying something new like a car or house etc... you get the idea. All of these things bring people a sense of happy. It's a physiological response. Your endorphins and adrenalin in your system are high. You feed off others energy and you feel pride and love. Happiness can be internal or external and what makes one happy is not necessarily what makes another happy. Happiness isn't a state of permanent being. It can be a fleeting moment or last a few hours or if you're lucky a few days. Did you know that just smiling can raise your endorphin levels. Yes, all you need to do to increase your happy/ contentment level is smile. Think of something that made you smile or laugh in the past, then put that smile on your face and feel your spirit's lift. Walk into the grocery store with a smile on your face and see how many you get back, make it a game. Smiles are contagious, catch one and give one.  I think part of what made covid even more depressing than it was, was the fact that we couldn't see peoples smiles.

    When you ask someone what makes them happy, some people have a ready set list others have no idea. The ones that have a ready set list may know or may think that those things make them happy, or they may think that they fall into the happy category but really fall into a different category like strong emotions or ease of life's challenges. Example, money, does it really make you happy or does it just make getting by in life easier? Winning a lottery may make you happy but the challenges after can bring on bigger problems if the windfall is not handled well. Another common response is sex. The problem with this answer is that sex actually falls under the category of strong emotion not happiness. Again, those endorphins are playing a huge roll in this. Let's list some of the emotions and some of the feelings associated with sex. Blissful, euphoric, anticipatory, desire, relaxing, comfort, powerful, heartwarming, safe I know I left out a bunch go ahead add some more but you get the idea. All of this makes you feel good, but it is not happiness, it would fall more under the category of pleasure. 

                                                                         

    Now to look at what happiness means and why contentment is more of a constant that we need to achieve. We should all have moments of happiness in our lives. Remember these are fleeting. You can raise your inner contentment/ happiness level by taking mental snapshots of these happy moments and whipping them out to the front of your brain when you are feeling down. You can also feel better by raising your endorphin levels, there are simple ways of doing this.

Exercise

Laughter (even if you are by yourself think of something that makes you laugh or watch a funny show)

Sex: it is not defined as happiness but can produce those endorphins that will make you feel better for a while.

Dark chocolate

Eat spicy food

Create or listen to music

Create or look at art

Dance: put on some music and dance and sing around your house when you are doing other things or just take time to dance. This is a powerful positive endorphin building tool.

        If you feel like you are never happy you need to look at why. It could be you, get a mental health assessment and make sure that you are not suffering from some level of clinical depression. Try one or more of those endorphin building tips. Look at your surroundings it might be as simple as a clean house, ask for help or hire someone if the chore seems overwhelming. Are you in a toxic relationship, if so, can you get out of it safely, there are programs and services out there to help with this. I know from personal experience how hard and frightening getting out of a toxic relationship can be. People always say why doesn't he or she just leave? Sometimes it's just not that simple, try to find someone you can trust, stay safe and do everything you need to do to escape. I feel like I just went down a rabbit hole, but I think it is and important rabbit hole. Whatever you feel is making you down try to take steps to change it. Don't make it a one-man job, ask for help if it seems to be too much for you. 

    The goal we are seeking is contentment for most of our day. This is also not a constant. Things happen. Someone says something upsetting something happens that is upsetting, traffic on our way to or from work is awful, something sad occurs, you get frustrated. Anger however is a choice. OH, I hear you out there going is she crazy!!! No, it really is a choice before you lose your temper ask yourself several questions. Will being angry change the situation? Is there any way that my actions can change the situation? Is this really a battle or just something a bit annoying or frustrating? Remember being angry hurts you way more than anyone else. It raises your blood pressure, your heart rate, can cause strokes and is actually harmful to your organs. If your anger is justified give yourself a time limit of no more that 10 minutes to fume, mumble, or dwell on the subject. We are not our best selves when we are angry, and you are losing out on all that possible happiness time you are so looking for. Seek contentment. Most of your problems are under control, you have a few moments every day for yourself. Do something that makes you calm or happy. Meditate for at least 10 minutes a day. Talk to the people in your life, take a walk, read a book, cook a meal, paint a picture, you get it do something fun that you enjoy. Making time for yourself and your loved ones will bring a sense of contentment to you as well as that possible Happy moment we all seek. 

    Wrapping it up. Happiness is not a constant state of existence, it is a fleeting moment to be savored, saved, and enjoyed. Feel free to whip out your happiness snapshot card in your brain anytime you need a fix. Happiness is a physiological state, one that you can manipulate, one that you actually have more power over than you realize. Use your power. Happiness does not fall from trees and land in your lap. You need to participate in life in order to experience it. We also need to recognize it when we see it. There are many small happy moments in all of our lives. Watching my dogs play with each other makes me smile and laugh, sometimes I see a small child in public that does something funny or sweet that makes me smile. Watching a very tiny bird dive bomb a very tiny squirrel the other day made me laugh. These are happy moments, notice them savor them, keep them tucked away. You are responsible for your own happiness no one else. You choose how many tiny moments around you that you notice and let them put a smile on your face. Seek contentment by

storing up as many happy snapshots you can. 

                                                                               

Remember this song? Well, he has the right idea. Who can listen to this song and not smile? 

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Bobby McFerrin

Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry be happy
Don't worry be happy now

Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo-ooh hoo-hoo-ooh-ooh ooh
Don't worry
Woo ooh-woo-ooh-woo-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy
Ooh-ooh hoo-hoo-ooh hoo-hoo-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Woo ooh-woo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo-ooh-woo-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy

Ain't got no place to lay your head somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry be happy
The landlord say your rent is late he may have to litigate
Don't worry
Ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha
Be happy
Look at me I'm happy

Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh...
Be happy
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Here I'll give you my phone number
When you're worried call me I'll make you happy

Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Ain't got no cash ain't got no style
Ain't got no gal to make you smile
But don't worry be happy
'Cause when you're worried your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don't worry be happy
Don't worry be happy now

Ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy

Now there is this song I wrote
I hope you learned it note for note like good little children
Don't worry be happy
Listen to a what I say in your life expect some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry be happy be happy now

Ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy

Ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry (Don't worry, don't do it)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Be happy
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
(Put a smile on your face, don't bring everybody down like this)

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh
It will soon pass, whatever it is
Woo ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Don't worry be happy

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh
I'm not worried

Songwriters: Robert Mcferrin Jr.. For non-commercial use only.

Data From: Musixmatch

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Genius

Life, Love, Tragedy, Sadness

 I know I promised to finish my wandering Gypsy series, but I got a bit busy.  So, this Blog is going to be out of place. You know that writing things down is a kind a therapeutic thing for me, yesterday something terrible happened and I'm going to try to start to process it in the way that I know best.

While out doing my job. I witnessed, what I thought was an abduction of an adult woman. While I was grabbing my phone to take a picture of the man, woman, and car, as well as dialing 911 everything went even more wrong. The man grabbed a large knife and murdered the woman and then himself. No one and I mean No One, should ever have to see this. Not to mention it just shouldn't happen. It was terrifying as well as surreal. 

Strangely, although I was right there and didn't miss anything with my eyes. It was almost as if someone had lowered the volume on life to 2 bars. I really didn't hear much as if my ears were being covered. After a comment made by a friend of mine that she was glad she wasn't there because she wouldn't be able to get the screaming out of her head, I realize that this odd phenomenon was a blessing. Maybe my Angel covered my ears. I have very detailed visual recall. This is usually a good thing, but it is going to make getting the pictures out of my head very difficult. 

The poor girl's mom was there and witnessed the whole thing as well. My heart is breaking for her. I can't even imagine what I would have done if it had been me and one of mine. I don't want to imagine that. No parent should have to ever go through something like that. I'm waiting for this to become real in my head. I know that it will hit me hard from out of nowhere when I least expect it. I've been down that road before. 

It was such a wasted loss of life. So much ahead of both of them. My understanding is that they left a 2 yr. old behind. I hope he wasn't a witness to any of this. I didn't see him, but I wasn't looking for anyone. 

The violence among humans these days is horrendous. I don't know how to change it. The only thing I know that I have total control over is me. How I behave towards others. How I manage myself. No one is perfect. There are no directions in life. We don't come with a manual that has all the answers and all the right words. We don't know how we are going to react in any situation. We can only hope that we have our hearts in the right place and try to do no harm. Hindsight in life is 20-20. Sadly, the man and the woman involved in yesterday's horror have no such luxury, to look back and change their lives going forward. We never know when our time is up. Thankfully this man did not have a gun or more lives may have been lost, including mine. That thought is a large, scary, sour, pill to swallow. He clearly had a plan. I don't believe he intended for either of them to live when he set out yesterday. Sadly, he accomplished his goal. He clearly came prepared with a very deadly weapon and it was in easy grasp in his car. It was an illegal knife to tote around, and I believe there is only one reason for doing so and that is to cause great harm. 

The officer who happened to be nearby arrived on the scene too late to save anyone. He was young and riding solo. He followed the book on how to handle the situation. He was amazing when trying to help the young woman. He never lost focus. I hope that he is acknowledged for his fast response and proper actions as well as his compassion. 

Be kind to each other. Try and talk things out. Don't let stuff fester. Life is short and you never know how short. Love your family and friends and let them know it. work through your problems don't just turn your back on them and hope they go away or change. Share your worries and your happiness with those you love. We all need the support of others. Life is a gift from God. Treasure, it hold it carefully and don't let it shatter you only get one.